My ICD

I am so sorry for the long absence! It was a mixture of writers block and being very busy, but I'm sure you don't want to hear my excuses. Today I would like to share with you all my experience with having an implantable cardioverter defibrillator, or an ICD.

Image from google.

As I have mentioned in my previous post here, I received an ICD in October 2008, during the freshman year of high school. The purpose of an ICD is to use electrical pulses or shocks to help control life-threatening arrhythmias in the ventricles of the heart, especially those that cause sudden cardiac arrests. It’s dual function as both a pacemaker and defibrillator is what makes it so incredibly imperative to have. My ICD was implanted into me after my first sudden cardiac arrest, and to be perfectly honest, it was the second most painful surgery I’ve ever had (my most recent VT ablation is ranked the highest, although that may be because it’s still fresh in my mind compared to the ICD surgery..) I don’t even think my chest hurt the most after the surgery, it was definitely my throat from having the breathing tube in! My family had to feed me ice chips and I couldn’t talk and it hurt to swallow for three to five days. It basically felt like having an extremely sore throat that wouldn’t go away no matter what you did. I wasn’t able to move my left arm without being met with pain, and even when I was finally released from the hospital after the surgery, I had to keep my arm in a sling.

Despite after everything had healed, the scar that was left from my surgery continued to bother me for 6 months. It would be just like a dull throbbing pain, and no matter what I did it never went away. Occasionally, it would even become itchy! My mom tried to put lotion and anti-scar cream and all sorts of other ointments to try and help it, but nothing seemed to work. Eventually, all the pain and sensations stopped and to this day it still hasn’t bothered me anymore.

However, setting the process of obtaining the ICD aside, my ICD is the reason why I am still alive today. I cannot stress how thankful I am to have my ICD, and it has already shocked me back to life about 4 times, not including the VT storm, as I have mentioned in the posts with my complete story. Unfortunately, it is because of that VT storm that I am scared of my ICD, because being shocked while conscious has left such unforgettable pain that I still haven’t quite gotten over. I went through a time period where I was scared to be left alone in case something happened to me and my ICD would go off, and I became incredibly conscious of my heart beat. I know others have gone through/is going through the same thing because interestingly enough, when I go see my electrophysiologist they ask for patients to submit a survey with questions about how they feel about their ICDs/arrhythmia, just like the feelings I had been dealing with the past year. The only thing I wish I could have done differently want seek help earlier instead of telling myself the feeling would go away, and I still think it would be extremely helpful to talk to someone who feels the same way as I do.

If anyone has any other questions about ICDs from a person who actually has one rather than a doctor's point of view, feel free to ask me! Of course if it regards whether you need one/your child needs one then consult with a doctor. I know it may seem that I have a bad experience with my ICD, but I wouldn't change a thing and I am so thankful to have my ICD rather than having to get a heart transplant.

Also, some general things about having an ICD: I can't walk through security monitors (just like people with pacemakers), I generally need to stay away from magnets, I wear a Medic Alert bracelet notifying others about my defibrillator, and I sometimes get questions about my scar but usually my hair covers it!